If we want healthy communities, we need to support our boys
Raising kind, compassionate, brave, and loving boys doesn’t happen without intention. Here are some resources and guides for parents looking to support their sons, nephews, grandsons, and other boys.
Note that Hey Brother Co. is not an affiliate of any of these authors or creators, and does not earn anything from recommending these resources. If you want to support Hey Brother Co. directly, sign up for a workshop and make an additional donation at checkout!
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BOYS WILL BE HUMAN
By Justin Baldoni
“Boys Will Be Human is brought to you by filmmaker, actor, and author Justin Baldoni. It is a real-talk, self-esteem-building guidebook that helps boys ages 11 and up embrace their feelings and fears instead of repress them.
Highly designed and filled with activities, sidebars, and inspirational quotes, this book is the perfect social-emotional learning tool for parents and educators to jump-start conversations about masculinity with the boys in their lives.
Have you ever noticed that there are unwritten rules that tell boys how to act, think, and feel? Nobody knows where they came from, but one day—BAM!—you suddenly feel these invisible forces, pushing you to follow the rules of masculinity, even if they don’t make you happy.”
FEMINISM IS FOR BOYS
“Boys can play sports with girls, wear dresses, cook, play with dolls, express emotions, be friends with all genders, and believe in equality.
Feminism is not just about equal rights for all genders, but also about the pursuit to eradicate gendered stereotypes – allowing everyone to be their truly authentic selves. Boys are some of the most important allies in the movement for gender equality. Feminist boys should not be the exception, but the norm. Feminism is for everyone, including boys!”
HOW TO RAISE A FEMINIST SON
By Sonora Jha
“Jha weaves her own fascinating, sometimes heartbreaking, and always beautiful story of raising her own feminist son with careful research, insightful interviews, and helpful advice. This book is a true love letter, not only to Jha’s own son but also to all of our sons and to the parents–especially mothers–who raise them.”
—Ijeoma Oluo, author of So You Want to Talk About Race and Mediocre
“Essential reading for any parent, loved one, or teacher seeking to raise feminist boys in these times.”
—V (formerly Eve Ensler), author of The Vagina Monologues and The Apology
“Sonora Jha takes on the hardest questions and the most-fraught conversations with nuance and grace. Here, when addressing the deepest anxieties of parents raising boys committed to a fair and just society, her insights are invaluable.”
—Soraya Chemaly, author of Rage Becomes Her
“In How to Raise a Feminist Son, [Jha] has created a feminist manifesto steeped in personal story that seeks to unwind and re-weave the way we make men.”
—The Rumpus
“Part memoir, part parenting guide…combines Jha’s life story and her indispensable advice and is essential reading for today’s parents.”
—Booklist
“By weaving moving, personal stories about her own life and her son’s life together with research and interviews, Jha encourages readers to embrace the difficulties and the joys simultaneously.”
—Seattle Times
FATHER FIGURE: HOW TO BE A FEMINIST DAD
By Jordan Shapiro
“From digital-age parenting expert Jordan Shapiro, a thoughtful and long-overdue exploration of fatherhood and masculinity in the 21st century.
There are hundreds of books on parenting, and with good reason—becoming a parent is scary, difficult, and life-changing. But when it comes to books about parenting identity, rather than the nuts and bolts of raising children, nearly all are about what it's like to be a mother.
Drawing on research in sociology, economics, philosophy, gender studies, and the author's own experiences, Father Figure sets out to fill that gap. It's an exploration of the psychology of fatherhood from an archetypal perspective as well as a cultural history that challenges familiar assumptions about the origins of so-called traditional parenting roles. What paradoxes and contradictions are inherent in our common understanding of dads? Might it be time to rethink some aspects of fatherhood?
Gender norms are changing, and old economic models are facing disruption. As a result, parenthood and family life are undergoing an existential transformation. And yet, the narratives and images of dads available to us are wholly inadequate for this transition. Victorian and Industrial Age tropes about fathers not only dominate the media, but also contour most people's lived experience. Father Figure offers a badly needed update to our collective understanding of fatherhood—and masculinity in general. It teaches dads how to embrace the joys of fathering while guiding them toward an image of manliness for the modern world.”
The Mask You Live In
“The Mask You Live In follows boys and young men as they struggle to stay true to themselves while negotiating America’s narrow definition of masculinity.
Pressured by the media, their peer group, and even the adults in their lives, our protagonists confront messages encouraging them to disconnect from their emotions, devalue authentic friendships, objectify and degrade women, and resolve conflicts through violence. These gender stereotypes interconnect with race, class, and circumstance, creating a maze of identity issues boys and young men must navigate to become “real” men.
Experts in neuroscience, psychology, sociology, sports, education, and media also weigh in, offering empirical evidence of the “boy crisis” and tactics to combat it.
The Mask You Live In ultimately illustrates how we, as a society, can raise a healthier generation of boys and young men.”
